Sometimes all you have is yourself

AJ Burnett of the Yankees has had a tough year.  His stats for the month of August were horrendous.  His month of September, although a bit better, was no box of chocolates either.  Pretty much everyone associated with the Yankees – his manager, probably a good deal of teammates, certainly Yankee fans, and the New York media – wrote him off entering the playoffs.  He was not listed as a playoff starter and the likelihood of him coming out of the bullpen in a key situation was slim to none.  But fate has a mind of its own.  A combination of variables forced the Yankees to make Burnett the game four starter against the Tigers.  The Yankees were facing elimination.  The game was in Detroit.  Burnett on the mound.  You could just hear the New York media sharpening their pencils (or knives!) for the inevitable Yankees elimination and the carving up of the underachieving Yankees with Burnett as the leading scapegoat.  But as I said, fate has a mind of its own.

“Mac, you got the ball tonight and we just want you to know that there is not a single one of us that thinks you have a shot of making it out of the first inning.  You’re going to pitch against one of the better hitting teams in the league, your numbers stink, and our bullpen is depleted.  Basically, the situation could not be any worse.”  

On top of that, a teammate, upon hearing that I was starting said “You’re starting tonight?   … (insert awkward pause here) … that’s great.” 

Both AJ and I were faced with a situation where we were alone.  Just ourselves.  Inside, I remember being very angry.  Angry at what everyone else assumed would happen.  Not that I blame them because I’d given nobody reason to think otherwise.  But I felt it was me against the world – at least in my own mind.  The fire in my stomach that somehow managed to die out suddenly flickered to life again.  I had something to prove.  I ended up throwing a complete game and took a shutout into the ninth inning in route to a win.  I’d like to say that my performance that night turned my season around but it didn’t.  My performance continued to be largely inconsistent for the remainder of my season